Vanity, Arrogance and the Tyranny of False Assumptions: How I learned to Love the Painful Truth
Vanity, Arrogance and the Tyranny of False Assumptions: How I Learned to Love the Painful Truth
by robert cinque
For most of my life, I thought I was a mind inside a body living in a world, in a vast and incomprehensible universe. I suddenly show up as an apparent individual, without any knowledge of who or what I am or how I got here, or why. Like everyone, I assumed that I was inside my body, God was in Heaven and the world was hurtling through the universe that He made.
I went to Catholic school where I was taught that I had been born into Original Sin and needed the Blood Sacrifice of the Son of God to save me from eternal damnation. Adam and Eve had disobeyed God and were banished from the Garden of Eden and had to go work and live by the “sweat of their brow”.
Thankfully, God the Father, in His mercy, sent Jesus to take the weight of our sin and die on a cross, for everyone’s sake.
Wow, I thought this was some really super duper love and I fell in love with the Son of God and appreciated Him for being my friend and saving me from Hell. I was about 5 years old when this became my reality.
My mother, a devout German Roman Catholic, dragged her husband and 3 kids to Mass every Sunday, where we took Holy Communion and prayed for those who were lost. On Saturday, we had to go to Confession where we told the priest about the girl we fingered or the lies we told our parents to get out of the house.
I loved Jesus and Saint Francis and read about how great Abraham was because he was willing to commit murder and sacrifice his own son to God, out of obedience to His Will.
When I was about 10, this story sent a crack through my rock hard beliefs. How could a loving God require that Abraham commit murder? Didn’t the Fifth Commandment forbid murder?
Around this time, my older brother had gotten into trouble with the Principal, the Abbott of the Convent of Nuns who taught us. She had said that only Catholics would go to Heaven and Jimmy stood up and said, Hey Wait a minute! My Dad’s not Catholic but he’s a good man and her deserves to go to Heaven too!
She rebuked him for insubordination and put him on suspension. He was crying when my parents got to the school and after their Big Meeting, he was condemned for his disobedience and hung out to dry.
Jimmy was already a hot tempered juvenile delinquent. He hated everybody except me, who he loved and protected from the bullies. He had a big bad reputation and if anyone fucked with me, they got their ass beat, publicly. He lifted weights, practiced karate and firearms, was a natural athlete who had college scholarship offers to play football when he was in the 10th grade.
When I found out about the Big Meeting and that my dad had betrayed my brother who courageously defended him before the authorities, the Crack Got Bigger.
I started hanging out with him and his killer friends and was accepted by his crowd who were 6 or 7 years older than I. I tried to be a tough guy but it didn’t work and my fake bravado got me in a lot of fights with true badasses, none of which ended well for me. Still, I loved my brother and tried to be like him. I emulated his defiance of authority and appreciated his willingness to stand up to bullies and protect skinny little kids like me. He was also great with ugly, unpopular girls who were regularly tortured by the bullies.
Here is my point: I started asking myself, Why the Fuck didn’t Abraham stand up to God and criticize Him for being a Psychotic Motherfucker? How could God require murder as proof of loyalty when He had handed down the 5th Commandment against murder? Was Jimmy greater than Abraham?
I started down the path of my own juvenile delinquency, with an emphasis on refusing to submit to the Bullies of False Assumptions.
I came to the conclusion that God did not kick Adam and Eve out of the Garden; He kicked them out of their CHILDHOOD. He gave them a command He knew would be impossible for them to fulfill: Look but don’t touch. Taste but don’t swallow. Kiss but don’t make love.
God knew that they would be forced to disobey Him and bring their childhood to an end. No more reliance upon Heavenly Authority. Now, we think for ourselves, make our own decisions, become adults. After all, isn’t this what every parent wants for their children? To grow up and become self reliant and independent?
That was the Second Crack in my childish cosmology.
I was 17 when I entered Florida State University in 1971, overflowing with curiosity and passion for the most basic Knowledge of Life. I became a psychedelic enthusiast, had mystical experiences that landed me in Seminary, and graduated with a BA in Religion from Stetson University. I had discovered the Original Gospel of Jesus Christ by this time, so I couldn’t preach the garbage I was taught anymore, and I dropped out of a Master’s program in the Vanderbilt School of Divinity, which I had signed up for in an attempt to salvage the last 4 years of my career.
I was eating LSD and Psylocibin, reading William Blake and Nietzsche, and deconstructing the lies of my cultural and spiritual conditioning.
I was pulling thorns out of my paws and chewing off the legs that had been caught in bear traps.
I couldn’t preach or teach anymore, so I took a job with an excavation company which dug ditches for municipal sewage systems, a symbology which took me years to really appreciate.
I spent a winter in ditches laying pipes and listening to the conversations of my co-workers, which drove me completely nuts. The conversations were trivial and banal and they reminded me of the talk I overheard between my professors in the University Cafeteria, where I worked as a waiter after I dropped out of the Master’s program. Their conversations were also about stupid things and I felt irritated by this. What were my professors doing wasting their time on superficial bullshit?
By this time, the volcanic emotional and spiritual turmoil, the psycho-tectonic shifts happening in my heart and soul, were uncontainable. I had a wife and child, but I could not work, could not pay attention to anything but my own obsession with truth. I opened up a daycare Center so I could make some money and be with my daughter, but it only lasted a year or so before my wife left me and I hit the road.
I had no money, no income, no direction. I just wanted to throw myself into the wind and completely surrender to Life, as a way of discovering truth. Surely, God will find me blowing around and reveal the truth to me.
People would pick me up hitchhiking and ask me where I was going. I would say “Where are you going? Let’s go there.”
By this time, I had concluded that the Original Gospel of Jesus was that Mankind is in a state of inherently, always existing, absolute perfect unity with God. His message was that “the Kingdom of Heaven is like Treasure buried in a man’s field”. He digs it up, now he’s rich, but the point of the story is that he was always rich, he just didn’t know it.
Jesus condemned the Judaic rituals of blood sacrifice and brought scathing indictments against the Pharisees who he accused of lying and deceiving the people.
I realized that Jesus’s message of Prior Unity with God is what got him killed. He undermined the ecclesiastical and political structures of his day and, after he was murdered, they turned him into a poster boy for blood sacrifice.
Parasites love blood. Parasites don’t provide anything for the host; they just eat it alive. Jesus realized that the religious intelligentsia had stolen the Universal Grace of God bestowed equally upon everyone, hijacked it, and sold it back to the people in the form of sacraments and atonements for sin.
Blood sacrifice is a lot like fiat currency. We the people own the currency, but the banks stole it and then loan it back to us, plus interest.
Fast forward to 2021:
The Doctrine of Original Sin/ Blood Sacrifice is the precursor, the template out of which comes the Doctrine of Covid 19 Infection/Blood Salvation through DNA modification.
Original Sin = Covid 19
Both of these false paradigms are manifestations of the drama of the victim who needs to be rescued.
Both are Shock/Rescue techniques, victim/perpetrator collusions and are designed to keep you locked into your childhood, believing in parental deities who require the willingness to obey, even to commit murder as proof of compliance.
Think about this the next time you are required to wear a mask, or take the rMRNA clot shot.
Does God really need salvation rackets to deliver the Grace of Life? Does God really need the CDC or the NIH to deliver the life giving rays of the sun?
The grotesque and monstrous tyranny of human vanity and arrogance which has hijacked the freedom and beauty of Life will not end until we end it.
It is up to each of us the realize what is true and to build our lives and world on it.
One heart and one soul at a time.
4 thoughts on “Vanity, Arrogance and the Tyranny of False Assumptions: How I learned to Love the Painful Truth”
What IS the painful truth???????
Truth is the painful truth. Sometimes hurts to face it.
Hi Mary. I’m sorry that Bob has not responded to you directly but I did let him know that you left a comment and that you are waiting for an answer. I apologize to you on his behalf. Also on his behalf, I want to make sure that you know that he is extremely grateful for the time and attention that you gave to his website. Bob makes sure to publish his direct contact info on every page of the site and if you ever feel the urge to contact him he is open to hearing from all of the visitors. Once again, Bob is sorry for the delay to respond to you.
The painful truth is that I believed lies that created conditions for suffering. When I returned to my actual condition as consciousness at infinity, my conditioning and beliefs crumbled and were outshined by the Radiant Truth of Life. Waking Up Hurts because truth exists and is prior to belief. Please see my essay Truth, Wonder and the End of Belief. Be Well